Summer Movies 2010 on Gilligan’s Island

I was reminded recently that I haven't done a single movie review on CWSS all summer!  The horror!

Rather than shoehorn in a bunch of reviews of films which are mostly gone from theatres, I thought I'd provide a season review (along with links to a handful of reviews I wrote on my brother's website, 6throwcenter).

But, just for fun, I'm categorizing them based on which character in "Gilligan's Island" would have liked them!


The Skipper

The Expendables — We all know the Skipper is going to like a good action flick, with big, burly guys pounding on each other.  When you put Sylvester Stallone, Jet Li, Jason Statham and Dolph Lundgren in the same film, you're going to have some fun.  Yeah, it's largely pointless, but there's a couple of good moments, and even some decent acting from Mickey Rourke.

The A-Team — This reboot wasn't everything I dreamed it would be, but it wasn't bad either.  The opening showed promise, as we see the (entirely too convenient) merging of our fabulous foursome, but the finale lost focus a bit.  Still, I can't fault the actors.  Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley and Quinton Jackson.  Liked them all.


Thurston Howell III

Iron Man 2 — Enormously rich guy flies around in an essentially indestructible suit of armor fighting crime.  Mr. Howell's dream!  (Except for the fighting crime part, probably.)  This one doesn't have the relentless energy of the first film, but it does have a better bad guy (Michey Rourke with electric whips!) and Scarlett Johansson in a catsuit.  If they could have gotten rid of that stupid fight with Rhodey (Don Cheadle taking over for Terrence Howard) it would have been a better film.

The Other Guys — For Mr. Howell, this one probably plays like high tragedy, what with the ponzi-schemer getting nabbed by the funny cops.  But they were really funny cops!


The Twilight Saga: Eclipse — Maryann is the romantic on the island, so this melodramatic love triangle is right up her aisle.  (And she's not above enjoying some of that male eye candy!)

The Karate Kid — A feel-good family film with a cute kid?  Awwww!

Toy Story 3 — More schmaltz for Maryann in this one.  But the best kind of schmaltz: the kind you're not ashamed to cry over.


Salt — Ginger is a strong woman, and she's going to be drawn to this tale of a CIA agent (Angelina Jolie) on the run from her own people.  Is she being framed, or is she really a Russian sleeper?  And how many guys is she going to kick in the head before we find out?  Enjoyable while I was in the theatre, then very forgettable afterward.

Robin Hood — Ginger likes her man-candy a little rougher, so she's likes her some Russell Crowe in this enjoyable prequel to the Robin Hood story you know and love.

Knight and Day — This movie is more about the awesome power of the stars' smiles (Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz) and less about, you know, plot or character or theme.  Or watchability.

Lovey Howell

Date Night — You just know Mrs. Howell misses the days when she and Thurston were on the run from the feds and the mob because of a case of mistaken identity.  What the film lacks in structure, it more than makes up for in the comedic chops of Tina Fey and Steve Carrell.  And props to Mark Wahlberg for his entirely shirtless cameo.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time — Lovey isn't ashamed to admit she has a bit of a crush on Jake Gyllenhaal.  Yeah, it's kind of pervy, but he is a lovely man, isn't he?  And he manages a decent English accent, which we know all ancient Persians have.  And there's a whole bunch of special effects and a kind of doofy, unmotivated ending.

The Professor

Countdown to Zero — He wishes he could see more documentaries, but the Professor is simply happy to have seen this excellent one about the proliferation of nuclear weapons.  By the end of the show, he's kind of glad he's stuck on a desert island, far from any population centers.

Inception — The Professor doesn't think Inception is a perfect movie.  But he finds a huge amount of enjoyment in teasing out the confusing layers of dreaming and determining if and where there are inconsistencies.  It's definitely a strange movie that rewards viewers for overthinking it.


Piranha 3D — He spent the whole film covering his eyes, and yet, unable to look away.  (I wish I could have.)

Predators — You know Gilligan was a fan of the first one.  And probably watched all the subsequent Predator films.  (Predator 2, meh.  AVP, not bad.  AVP:R, terrible.)  But this is a reboot of sorts.  With Adrian Brody!  And Lawrence Fishburne!  And… Topher Grace?  Yes.  Topher Grace!  Personally, I loved it.  I need to see it again, but I might like it better than the original. 

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World — Well, duh.  You know this would be Gilligan's favorite film ever!  Slacker guy falls for cute girl, then kicks the asses of all her exes in some sort of ninja-video-game fever dream.  You know, now I think it's possible Gilligan was originally from Montreal.

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