pretending that my opinions matter. I
mean, this is the internet, after all, the home of unmotivated whonking. Here are my uncalled for, unreasoned, and
unnecessary thoughts on the new TV season, in the order that the shows will
Hellcats (CW, 9/8) – This story of
cheerleading in college looks like the kind of show that’ll have a fun pilot
(or did, since it already aired) but devolve into annoying teen drama which is
indistinguishable from every other annoying teen drama. (Yes, Gossip
Girl, I’m looking at you.)
Nikita (CW, 9/9) – Sadly, I missed this
premiere as well. I never watched the
Peta Wilson version, but I did see Anne Parriaud’s and Bridget Fonda’s takes on
the iconic female spy character. I can’t
imagine Maggie Q will be a poor addition to the franchise.
Outlaw (NBC, 9/15) – Jimmy Smits stars as a
former Supreme Court Justice who goes back into legal practice. I want to like it, but when was the last time
Jimmy Smits was in a show from the pilot that didn’t crash and burn? I think he’s destined to be the guy who joins
existing good shows and makes them great.
(L.A. Law, NYPD Blue, The West Wing)
Boardwalk Empire (HBO, 9/19) – HBO dramas almost
universally bug me. I doubt this one
about the Prohibition era is going to be different, Steve Buscemi or no Steve
The Event (NBC, 9/20) – Easily my most
anticipated show of the year. World-spanning
conspiracies, 24-style action, and a
mystery teased by the very name of the show?
It might be another Happy Town,
or it might be another Lost. Here’s hoping!
Lone Star (Fox, 9/20) – Might be interesting to
watch this con man with a double identity try to extricate himself from his
immoral mess of a life. But then,
remember Profit? That one crashed and burned, and it was even
Chase (NBC, 9/20) – This tale of US
Marshalls tracking down fugitives doesn’t look as interesting as The Marshall from the 90s. (Oh, Jeff Fahey, you are awesome.)
Hawaii Five-0 (CBS, 9/20) – This is the least
necessary reboot of the year, but the cast looks good, and I certainly don’t
care if they tinker with the franchise.
Worth a shot, I think.
Running Wilde (Fox, 9/21) – Keri Russell? Yay!
Will Arnett? Yay! Political conflict fueling a romantic
comedy? Boo. Cancelled in three episodes.
Detroit 1-8-7 (ABC, 9/21) – I’ll give them props
for setting the show in the least glamorous place in America. I plan to watch the pilot, just in case it’s
a good replacement for Law & Order. (Sniff.
I can’t quit you, L&O.)
Undercovers (NBC, 9/22) – Is it the J.J. Abrams
branding, the super-hot leads, the super-awesome Gerald McRaney, or just the
endless promotional teasers from NBC that makes me want to watch this show
about a married couple of spies? Don’t
know. Don’t care.
Better with You (ABC, 9/22) – Three different couples
in different stages of their relationships!
<sarcasm> I’m sure it’ll be hi-larious! </sarcasm>
The Defenders (CBS, 9/22) – Jim Belushi and Jerry O’Connell
play a wacky pair of lawyers on this 10 pm Wednesday show. Hopefully they don’t have any stiff
The Whole Truth (ABC, 9/22) – Maura Tierny and Rob
Morrow play a wacky pair of lawyers on this 10 pm Wednesday show. Hopefully they don’t have any stiff
My Generation (ABC, 9/23) – A faux-documentary crew
follows nine twentysomethings ten years after they graduated together. Think there’ll be some “How did I get here?”
$#*! My Dad Says (CBS, 9/23) – A show based on a
Twitter feed… Somebody better start
clearing a spot on their mantel for an Emmy!
Outsourced (NBC, 9/23) – Looks like The Office, but in India. Which is okay, if it’s half as funny as The Office.
Blue Bloods (CBS, 9/24) – Family drama about a
bunch of cops? Not for me. Sorry, Tom Selleck.
No Ordinary Family (ABC, 9/28) – This story of a family
transformed into superheroes looks like Heroes,
except without any mythology or hot people.
(Or The Incredibles, just not
nearly as funny. (Or Fantastic Four, but you can see Michael
Chiklis’s face.)) Either way, seems like
it’ll be a snore of a show.
Law & Order: Los Angeles (NBC, 9/29) – Doing a West Coast
version makes some sort of sense, I guess.
But this’ll probably have to have a different (and I expect more
grating) atmosphere. Still, with Skeet
Ulrich, Terrence Howard, and Alfred Molina, it’s starting with a good cast.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo, 10/4) – Not enough tea in
School Pride (NBC, 10/15) – Essentially Extreme Makeover: School Edition. I applaud the choice to refurbish our
educational establishments. I do not
applaud the choice to televise it.
The Walking Dead (AMC, 10/31) – Hard to believe that this
is the first ever (as far as I know) zombie TV show. And it’s directed by Frank “The Shawshank Redemption” Darabont. And it’s premiering on Halloween. Awesome.
Sarah Palin’s Alaska (TLC, 11/14) – I can only hope this
show about Palin and her family’s outdoorsy ways will both help to bolster Alaska’s
tourism industry, and help to make her politically irrelevant.